Getting to Know the Passengers on Our Bus

Imagine yourself as a bus driver en route to a specific destination, gradually picking up a variety of passengers along the way. There are those who are content to ride along quietly, while others come with a barrage of demands, loudly voicing their needs. As you concentrate on navigating the road and reaching your endpoint, you might question what to do with these challenging passengers. The desire to simply remove them from the bus is a common, instinctive reaction.

In the context of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Harris, 2019), this bus ride can be seen as a metaphor for life. The passengers symbolize our thoughts, feelings, memories, and sensations. Just as a diversity of riders join us en route to different destinations, a variety of mental and emotional ‘passengers’ join us throughout our life’s journey. Among these are the loud passengers—those thoughts and feelings that present us with the greatest challenges. Though we may attempt to dismiss them, they often return with increased vigor, and efforts to avoid them could inadvertently strengthen their presence.

Given that we can’t simply evict these unruly passengers, what then can we do? We have several strategies to consider for handling them differently:

1. Acceptance: Instead of fighting with these troublesome passengers or allowing them to distract us, we can acknowledge their existence, respectfully allow them their space, but refuse to let them take the wheel. Keeping our eyes on the road, we can continue to steer toward the destination we’ve set for ourselves.

2. Cognitive Defusion: Consider thoughts and feelings as separate objects, rather than integral aspects of ourselves. When they are taken as external entities (passengers), it becomes simpler to distance ourselves from them and avoid being excessively influenced or dominated by them.

3. Moving Forward: Using our values as a GPS to guide us, we envision a journey that’s not without its challenges but is nonetheless driven by what truly matters to us. Despite the noise and demands of difficult passengers, we can persevere in leading a life aligned with our beliefs and goals.

While the journey may be punctuated with distractions and obstacles, it’s important to remember that we are ultimately in control of the direction we take. By accepting the presence of challenging ‘passengers’ and learning to manage our relationship with them, we can stay on course and continue towards our designated purpose, enriched by our values and undeterred by the clamor in the background.

Harris, R. (2019). ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on acceptance and commitment therapy. New Harbinger Publications.

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